Travelate? A Gentleman Always Knows Exactly Who He Is.

The euphemism for my "bow tie" job is serving assistant, but most would know me as a busboy. I am the individual with the glazed over expression that brings you bread and butter, refills your water, and wishes your soul to eternal damnation if you ask me to box that half of a bite of fucking veal linguine.

"We're taking this home for our dog. He just loves prime rib."
"Hahaha.... I guess this really is a doggy bag then... hahaha"
Cue fake smile and me spitting in your dog's food.

Well, there is an individual at "bow tie" who is what I like to refer to as a wanker. Chronic masturbators lurk everywhere. Chances are if you have a bathroom in your office and more than 5 men someone has made love to themselves in that bathroom. Well B---- is a wanker. He will host a table of attractive women and then disappear for a little while claiming, "I had to wash my hands." But we know your secret B----... we all know.

Anyways, his girlfriend has the idea of being a personal traveling Pilates instructor. The plan is say Brooke Shields wants to go to the French Alps for a week, she would hire this young lady to go with her and keep her meat blanket body in shape. I thought it was a good idea, but needed a catchy name. After a shift of bouncing ideas off one another we decided on Travelates [the "lates" pronounced like the end of "Pilates"]. We were pleased with this name and Google it to see if it's taken. The first hit is Urban Dictionary.

Travlate:

A travelate is a person who can masterbate anywhere, he is not scared of a challange and will masterbate when he feels like it.

The look of revelation on his face was something in between "I thought I was the only one" and "My hidden shame, thy name is Travelate."